11/18 Big Day

Got up early walked Buck and left quickly for the East Bay tour of facilities.  We had three on the list..two were of the same parent company as Tunnel, and one was a privately owned 5 star facility I sourced yesterday.

First stop was Milly, Arlene's mother.  No one ever loves their mother as much as I love their mother, and I love Milly.  No really....I do.  She lit up like the sun when she saw Arlene walk around the corner waving hello ...so happy!  Plus she told me I was beautiful and who can complain about that!

Next stop was the first Tunnell family facility in Walnut Creek, CA.  This is the next exit down the freeway from Milly.  Town streets have fall colors, major stores, very folky small town feeling with a Trader Joes, Starbucks, Safeway, BoA etc... all major shopping right there.  Upper middle class Id say.

Entrance from under the gazebo

 

Looking back at the Gazebo and parking

Foyer - that's Arlene on the left - fireplace rear center - patio entrance either side

Patio with sliding glass doors from select rooms

The grounds here are obviously impressive.  Most of the place is carpeted.  Its BIG.  It didn't smell...much.  Mostly carpeted which gave it a nice feeling.  Two dining rooms one assisted the other where they serve you literally appetizer, entree, dessert...both have flat panel TVs.  On site therapy.

Next stop is a drive back over to Alameda, CA.  Both of the others are there.  Alameda is old and being revamped...ship channel, major shopping.  First stop was the Tunnell parent company place.  I wanted to walk out as soon as I walked in.  It STANK...people looked miserable.  While we are walking the halls Igor from Tunnell calls me and say the Walnut Creek facility has accepted Richard and they'd like to transfer him TODAY.  Im like hold your horses we are looking at more places.

Next was the privately owned place.  It was on the water, I liked it well enough.  It was older, but the staff was very very nice and happy.  The dining room was on the water looking out.  They have hospital CATS that roam the place!  Activity calendar was packed.  Definitely more service oriented.  Problem is they wont take him medicaid pending without a big down payment, and she confesses that a hospital is taking over the management very soon....all I can think is budget cuts.


So we went to lunch to talk and make phone calls.

Walnut creek is obviously the lesser of all evils, not only is it more convenient, it was just better looking and more comfortable.  Turns out Richard has been there to sing in the Gay Mans Choir he was in before Patrick made him quit out of jealousy. 

VA says they will continue to transport him for Parkinson's clinic visits only.  That's okay.

Walnut Creek says we can come back over the weekend before transfer to look at the room and set it up prior to his arrival.  Because he would be in the more long term area can bring in his things from home.  The room they are offering is a patio facing room, and offering him the patio side bed....big bonus, so its settled.

Arlene doesn't have to have panic attacks trying to fly all over the area to see him, her mother, work, grand kids, husband.  Lee works close by and can stop by a couple times a week as well to help him in strength training.  Lee is in incredible physical shape.  And the place is much less institutional...and since he has a sliding glass door to the patio right there he can go right out with his Kindle and relax.

So they took me back to my car and we all headed back over the bridge to Richard to talk to him, get him to sign some SS papers for Arlene to work on Medicare, and talk to the staff there basically saying goodbye.  Little bit of tears in that part.  Despite all our struggles everyone has grown close to him, and us along the way.

We are transporting and transferring him on Sunday....and we're taking him in the car, not a paid transport.

He really is doing better.  His voice is better, his motor skills are better.  Hes still a little confined in his body but hes leaps ahead of where he was in Sept.

After some time with him I left to get back to Buck....it was 5pm already.  Arlene and Leeare following shortly behind to help pack a suitcase for him with some clothes.  no more sitting around in hospital gowns.  I got back and started gathering things, lots of things....desk lamp, baskets for walls, clothes, anything I could find that I thought would help him feel more like it was his space and his stuff and familiar.  Meanwhile Jordan is here packing up for a red eye to Mexico.

I just have to pause and say that Animal from the muppets is playing the drums on Jimmey Kimmel Live.  hilarious.  is ther anything better on the planet than the muppets?  I think not!

Arlene and Lee come nix some stuff pack up the clothes while labeling everything like we are sending off our child to summer camp, and tey leave with the clothes, hangers, extension cord, power strip, halogen desk lamp blah blah....

I spent the rest of the night finishing the photo project.  Carolyn bought a multiple photo frams from Bed Bath & Beyond for him while she was here and when we got back it was like a giant jigsaw puzzle  trying to find the right pictures in the right orientation to get it filled.  Over the last couple of months Ive been slowly collecting pictures from people and I'll be darned that sucker is done.

So tomorrow Im meeting Arlene back across the bridge again.  We are going to meet at Ross and pick him up some inexpensive loose pants and v neck shirts.  Then caravan over to Walnut creek and get his room set up, things hung on the wall, scope out the space for his TV etc...That way when he comes on Sunday its more welcoming and home like feeling. 

I suspect I'll spend the next couple of weeks getting that perfected, then I'm going to go ahead and head back home.  He has been invited to his friend Charlotte's 95th birthday on Dec 11th.  the invitation came and he opened it up and its something that HE designed for her!  I told him I'd stick around and wait for that and if he was up to it Id drive him out there.  Its in Palo Alto.  Arlene said she would join to help.