10/26 VA

Dr Avins expects recovery to be 6mo to 1 year !$#@!%

His heart is amazingly great, got a chest xray today preliminarily the tech is like meh not so bad!  there is a little rattle going on.  Also got a full blood workup.

Tunnell is just so amazingly disappointing.  They send paperwork that is impossible to follow and not even a current meds list.  He gave up and said forget it, I'll just call them...AFTER being baffled by some decisions that were obviously going on.

We spoke to a social worker for sometime about everything, and while it was helpful, in the end we need to wait until Arlene has the Medicaid in hand to talk seriously.  for sure the culmination of that is going to be to get him the hell OUT of Tunnell.  I think that has just run its course.  No one can say for sure that he is even getting therapy because they don't even keep logs.  They say trust me....right...when pigs fly.  I brought it up in the beginning of the month, and they are still not logging it.

He has been very agitated and disoriented.  I mentioned it a week or more ago and they order a urinary tract infection test...it comes back clean and they drop it...so it just gets worse.  Last night he called around 6pm frantic saying I need to speak with you as soon as possible.  Today at lunch I think I garnered that he might have actually called 911...but last night at around 9 the night shift nurse called me to ask if he called and tell me hes confused.  that she notified the Dr.  The same nurse that ordered the UTI screen a week or more ago....the same Dr that wrote the orders and then did nothing to follow up.  I swear the actual medical care here borders on malpractice.

They took him off Zoloft and put him on a different one....but its a different class...and they did absolutely no weening whatsoever to get him off the zoloft.

I'm kind of at a breaking point here..like I want to reach into someones chest and pull out their spleen....with my teeth.

We are back at the VA on the 7th for Neurology /  Parkinsons follow up.   After that one Im out of here for a short bit to the middle of nowhere where its just me, Buck, giant trees and stars.  I need to have a discussion with God.  I'm pretty sure he lives in the Sequoia National Forest.

For what its worth, Buck is pretty sure everything is going to be alright.  He keeps telling me that.  I wish I could roll with the punches as well as he does.

And for those of you that know him...today is John 3's 22nd birthday.  Hows THAT to make you feel old.  Hes spending it under the ocean only god knows where.  I look forward to the day when we don't need him or anyone else to be responsible for a warhead.